Jean Viola (Hoefs) Gren

Mama Jean

Jean Viola (Hoefs) Gren was born March 31, 1933 in Dorset, Minnesota to Otto August Ferdinand and Pauline Marie Hoefs. She was the last of seven children born to the couple. She had three siblings who grew up: Edward, Max, and Mabel. Three others died young: Edith, Paul and Leonard.

Jean’s family owned a large farm just north of town. Everyone had many chores. Jean remembers as she got older she was expected to work in the fields as hard as her brothers. The nearest large town was Park Rapids. The area has many lakes, including Ida Lake, which bordered their property. About 30 miles away is Itasca State Park, which is the headwaters of the Mississippi River. Just a little farther north is Bemidji, Minnesota, home of Paul Bunyan.

One event Mom remembers from her early childhood is getting her own dress, when she was around seven or eight years old. Until then, she had always worn Mabel’s hand-me-downs. She remembers hanging that dress in her room and staring at it for hours. She is convinced her parents did not realize how special that dress was to her.

Jean’s family were devout members of the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod. Her parents cofounded the First English Lutheran Church in Dorset. There are two stained-glass windows in the front nave of the church. One is dedicated to Otto and Pauline. They were not emotionally expressive, but her father Otto did have a sense of humor. When the new pastor came to visit the church as it was being completed, Otto called out to the workers, “Come on, boys, we need to finish this floor before tonight’s dance!”

Jean was a Sunday School teacher for ten years, beginning when she was twelve. She was unusually devout at an early age, something her church easily recognized. Her family listened on the radio to the Voice of Prophecy program every Sunday afternoon after coming home from church.

Jean attended a small eight-grade school behind the church. Her father wanted her to quit school at that point, so she could work full-time on the farm, but her oldest brother Edward convinced him that she needed to go to high school in nearby Park Rapids.

Jean was an orphan at the age of twelve, when first her mother, then her father passed. She then lived with her brother, Max, a confirmed bachelor, on the homestead. Edward and Mabel raised their families nearby.

Max was Jean’s legal guardian. She usually was easy to manage, but once there was a school dance that she wanted to go to. Max forbade that, saying good Lutherans did not dance. But her friend came by and she climbed out her window so they could walk to the dance together. She thought she had given Max the slip, but he pulled up alongside in his pickup and asked her where she thought she was going!

After high school, Edward arranged a job for her with an attorney in Park Rapids. She lived with a friend, Mrs. Esther Ackerman, who became a second mother to her. She learned about various forms of law, including probate and real estate. He encouraged her to go to college, but no one in that family had the necessary funds.

Elmer and Clara Gren moved to nearby Nevis, Minnesota. Their son, Donald, joined them when he finished school. A mutual friend, Vernon Bullock, set up a blind date between Don and Jean. When they met, it was love at first sight. They dated for a year before they got married on July 17, 1954.

Don’s father had moved to Medford, Oregon, looking for work. They had previously lived in California and Washington. Don also had trouble finding work, so the new couple shortly followed to the Rogue Valley.

Soon after Don and Jean moved to Medford, their first child, Conrad, was born in 1955. Then came Esther in 1957, followed by Curtis in 1961. Curtis died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome when he was just over a month old. Then, in 1967, the family had a pleasant surprise when Judy arrived.

Don and Jean were both devout Lutherans. When they first moved to Oregon, they rented an apartment from Frank and Gladys Arnold. They were Seventh-day Adventists and they encouraged Don and Jean to attend some evangelistic series led by Mr. Gordon Dalrymple. They did. Jean says “I fought it because I couldn’t believe I had been wrong all my life and I couldn’t accept Ellen G. White. I thought she was like Joseph Smith for the Mormons and I believed the Bible was all I needed (which is true if we read it like we should). . . . The evangelist kept coming to our house and would not give up on me.” Don was quickly convinced. It took Jean three years and studies with Floyd Bresee to accept the biblical Sabbath and Ellen White.

This new faith impacted Don’s ability to hold a job while keeping the Saturday. He lost his Post Office and grocery jobs because he would not work on Saturday. They moved to North Bend on the Oregon coast. Then they tried living in Phoenix, Arizona for a brief time. The young couple had to earn enough money to raise their little family, so Jean went to work for Harry and Jeanette Marshall’s real estate company. She watched the construction of the I-5 Bridge that goes over the City of Medford. Don got a job at the MEDCO plywood mill but after a while, Sabbath problems came back. Afraid of losing his job again, he became discouraged spiritually and started working Sabbaths. It seemed like God was not listening to his prayers so for a time, he gave up on God.

Jean was determined to take her children to church and put them in church school by working full time. She got a job at Lawyers’ Title, where she worked for over 30 years. We lived on Jasmine Avenue at the time, so we would walk to Valley View Church on Sabbath and to Rogue River Jr. Academy for school. Over time, Jean’s Christian example and love won Don back to the Lord. In 1966, there was another evangelistic series by Glenn Coon. Jean convinced Don to go. He gave his heart back to the Lord and was re-baptized. Conrad and Esther were baptized at the same time. Later, the fact that God miraculously preserved little Judy’s life before she was born helped convince him that God really did care and listen.

Soon after joining Valley View, Jean was asked to lead Primary Sabbath School. She says, “At first I declined because I had been a Sunday School teacher in the Lutheran Church, and I felt I might mess up on things, i.e. the 10 commandments, because I learned them differently.” But they persisted, she accepted and served there several years before leading in the Junior Department. She followed us kids as we progressed through the children’s divisions. Later, she was a popular Adult teacher.

Don and Jean’s new-found faith did not sit well with the relatives back in Minnesota. They were staunch Lutherans and they could not believe their sister would join a different church. Eventually, there was reconciliation. We made numerous trips to see family in Minnesota. Don loved to travel and would take us on summer outings to Disneyland, or to Vancouver Island and the Butchart Gardens, or back to Minnesota to visit family. The redwoods and Crater Lake were frequent visits every summer. After the kids were grown, Judy and Conrad accompanied Don and Jean on a trip to England, Norway, Italy, Switzerland and France. Don and Jean also traveled to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon.

Jean saw each of her children get married: Esther in 1981 to James Bryson, Conrad to Barbara Kyle in 1982, and Judy to Matthew Weber in 1993.

Jean and Don’s first grandchild, Eric, arrived in May, 1985. Barbara and Conrad recall the first visit to Don and Jean’s home with little Eric. We put Eric in a little bouncing seat, suspended by a door frame. Eric jumped up and down and made Don and Jean giggle as much as he did. Then Eric got cancer and we almost lost him. Jean and Judy were in church at Valley View, when we called the church to alert Mom how fast he was declining. Pastor Kruger started his sermon by telling Jean and Judy that if they wanted to see Eric alive, they needed to leave for Portland immediately. Jean came up and was with Eric, Conrad and Barbara for a couple days. Then she told Conrad and Barbara she needed to go back home because God had told her she needed to demonstrate her faith in His healing Eric by doing so. The doctors said he would not make it through the night, but God’s message to Jean was spot-on: he healed him in a marked way that left the doctors and staff at Oregon Health Sciences University baffled and unable to explain. Jean and the rest of us knew that God had reached down and healed him. Eric had a name for everyone and everything. His name for Grandma was Mama Jean. That name stuck. All her friends and family know her as Mama Jean. More grandchildren followed: Kari in 1987, Laura in 1990, and Nathaniel in 1999. Jim and Esther had additional grandchildren: Heidi, Debbie, and Penny.

The grandkids got married: Kari to Robert Lenz in 2008, Eric to Kandice Helsius also in 2008, and Laura to Timothy Taylor in July 2013. Heidi, Debbie, and Penny also married. The next generation began arriving! From Bob and Kari we have Grace and Johnathan. From Tim and Laura, we have Micah, Isaac, and Jeremiah. From Heidi and Richard, we have Andrew and Genevieve. From Debbie and Eli, we have Elijah, Christopher, Aubrey, Bryson, Daisy, and Malachi. From Penny, we have Sarah, Jacob, Danae, Chase, Kayla, Rayne, and Paige. Sarah has the one great-great-grandchild, Dakota.

Don left Jean behind when he passed, on 15 December 2013. This did not cripple Jean. She deeply missed him, as did the family and church, but she seemed to blossom into a whole new person. Her love for God and people was infectious. At Valley View, she would answer “Valley View Seventh-day Adventist Church, how may I help you?” She would pray with hurting members and others who called. She would join in other ministries to the homeless and other needs. Pneumonia forced her to quit working for the church. She had a slow recovery from that. Just before Thanksgiving 2021, she and Conrad joined Jonelle, Trudy and Vicki and others in distributing sandwiches, water and socks to the homeless. One older gentleman on the street asked how old she was, and was astonished to learn she was 88! He found that very humorous.

In October 2020, Judy noticed slurred speech when talking with Mama Jean on the phone. We got her to the hospital. She had experienced a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack or “mini-stroke”). Judy and Conrad took her to multiple doctors and got her set up with new medications, such as Eliquis to thin the blood and prevent clotting. We convinced her to move up to Barbara and Conrad’s home in Damascus for the winter. There she had healthy food and numerous walks with their geriatric dog Sammy. Dave Davies, Suzanne and others faithfully facilitated connections with her beloved Sabbath School class on Sabbath mornings.

Conrad’s mother-in-law, Sybil Kyle, also lives with Barbara and Conrad. Sybil and Jean became close friends. Not only did they share four grandchildren and five great-grandchildren, but they could talk about what it was like to grow up on a farm in Montana or Minnesota in the 30s and 40s. An ice storm caused a loss of power for a couple days in February. Jean and Sybil sang songs together to keep them and us warm. The first night we stayed in the house, though nearby Tim and Laura had power and urged us to join them. This was nothing like the storms in the Midwest growing up! But they were ready to join Tim and Laura for the second night!

In late March, Mama Jean moved back home to Medford. She essentially had no ear canal in her left ear. She had excruciating earaches from childhood and in 1966 had an emergency surgery where they removed the mastoid. Conrad wanted to improve her hearing from that ear and arranged for ear surgery in Portland. Dr. Hodgson told us afterwards he was not able to rebuild the ear canal like he thought he could. Previous damage was too extensive. He had a list of three things he did not want to see in a patient during ear surgery. Never had he seen all three in one patient! She had cerebral spinal fluid leaking out and a couple other conditions that he was able to repair.

Jean needed a new hearing aid, so Judy and Conrad helped with that. Judy got her a new smart phone and hearing aid on December 10. Judy showed her how the two work together and Jean really enjoyed the new worlds that began to open up for her as she could now hear so much better. The plan was for her to move back up with Conrad and Barbara right after Christmas so we could show her a few of the amazing things you can do with an iPhone.

It was not to be. Esther and Judy had scheduled times when they would call Mama Jean. Conrad would call regularly, but not predictably. He would usually call at least once in the morning, and once in the evening, often in the afternoon as well. He called her at 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, 16 December. She mentioned she wished she had bought bananas the previous day as she was out. After supper, Conrad called again around 7:45, while walking his dog, Sam. There was no answer. He called again at 8:00. Still no answer. He checked the cameras we installed in most of the rooms in her house. It was a condition we had agreed to, so she could more safely live at home. Her bedroom, bathroom, living room and kitchen were all dark. That was not normal. He called Judy and she agreed that was odd. We called Daisy, her neighbor. She checked and could see Mom on the floor. Then Barb and Conrad noticed her on the floor of the downstairs bathroom. We watched paramedics come and whisk her off to Rogue Regional Hospital.

Mama Jean had a massive cerebral hemorrhage in the left side of her brain. The doctor explained that if we operated to reduce the swelling, we might save her life but at best, she would never speak again, or use the right side of her body. If she survived, she would possibly be intubated the rest of her life. Jean had signed an advanced directive that no heroic or invasive actions should be taken on her if the outcome of a reasonably normal life was not possible. So we respected her wishes and just requested comfort care for her.

Friday, 17 December, Anita Helsius, a nurse in our family, Pastor Don, Judy and Conrad all came to see her. She was released to hospice care at home Saturday afternoon, the 18th. Judy and Conrad provided her care from then until she passed between midnight and 3:30 a.m. on December 21st. So many of you assisted us. Barbara, Anita, and hospice nurses provided support and encouragement on nursing tips and techniques to two baffled individuals who never anticipated needing these skills. Jonelle brought by potato soup and other goodies. Our nephew Michael brought over pizza. Pastor Don, Eldon, Robin, and Rod anointed her Sunday night. These are just a few examples.

We were not by her bedside when she passed, but she knew we were just a few feet away. Her eyes and reactions told us she knew what was happening and where she was. She knew her Lord. When we asked why she wanted to live alone when she could be with her son’s family and grandchildren in Portland, she said she was not alone. Jesus and the Holy Spirit were constant companions. And she had a whole church family, all of you, who were eager to assist her if she needed transportation or groceries or other needs. We felt we needed to honor such faith and let her live alone as long as her desires and common sense would allow.

We could even see God’s compassion in the event that caused her passing. At the hospital, she had a purple glove on her left hand. Where was the right one? We found it at home on the rocking chair where she collapsed. We found a receipt for the groceries at 4:40 p.m. She came home, put away some of her groceries and then collapsed between taking off gloves. It was that sudden. No bones were broken. This did not occur while she drove home, or others could have been injured or killed. She had no time to feel much pain. As we read to Dad when he passed, in Luke 2 Simeon holds infant Jesus in his arms: “Now let your servant depart in peace, for I have seen the salvation of the LORD,” We know Jean is asleep in Jesus. We have this hope that burns within our hearts, hope in the Coming of the Lord. When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be. We all know Jean will be there. May God keep all of us to Himself, so we can meet her again.